By Robert Rankin
It's the 12 months 2050 and the cleaning soap opera "The Earthers" is making monstrous video dollars within the intergalactic rankings race. Alien television executives comprehend precisely what the outdated earth drama must make the off-world viewers sit up straight and stare—a awesome Armageddon-type finale.
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An American comedian icon tells the tale of his second–act upward thrust from obscurity to multimedia stardom.
"When i used to be a kid," writes Rodney Dangerfield, "I labored tricky areas in express business––places like Fonzo's Knuckle Room. Or Aldo's, previously Vito's, previously Nunzio's. That was once a difficult joint. I checked out the menu. they'd damaged leg of lamb. " For as soon as, one in every of America's so much loved comedian icons isn't kidding. Dangerfield has visible each element of the leisure undefined: the rough–and–tumble nightclubs, the behind the curtain gag–writing classes, the medication, the hookers, the awful day jobs – and the red–carpet megastar remedy. As he strains his course from a terrible formative years on new york to his enshrinement as a comedy legend, he's taking readers on a roller–coaster experience via a existence that has been alternately touching, sordid, humorous, raunchy, and uplifting – equivalent elements "Little Orphan Annie" and "Caligula. " and in contrast to so much big name autobiographers, he turns out to haven't any qualms approximately offering the unfiltered entire tale, warts and all.
Dangerfield's own tale is additionally a rollicking convey company story, choked with marquee name–droppings (Adam Sandler, Sam Kinison, Jim Carrey, Johnny Carson, Jerry Seinfeld) and stable tales approximately similar. Defying the previous saws concerning the fleeting nature of popularity and the lack of moment acts in American existence, Dangerfield reworked himself from a debt–ridden aluminium–siding salesman named Jack Roy to a multimedia celebrity – and stayed an icon for many years. His catchphrase – "I get no respect" – has entered the lexicon, and he continues to be a visual cultural presence and perennial talk–show visitor.
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The simplest type of wisdom is unusual knowledge.
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Extra resources for Armageddon: The Musical (Armageddon, Book 1)
People having sex in the bathroom again,” I say. ” Louis snorts. ” “Nah,” Louis says. ” I look at my watch. My customer’s entrées should be ready. I look back at the young couple’s table. They’re still holding hands. The girl’s stopped crying. Two people sharing an ordinary moment in an ordinary restaurant. Sometimes everyday little moments become chances for people to start over. That young couple is having such a moment. A light’s shining in the girl’s eyes. Maybe she’s gonna have that baby after all.
Inez asks me as we flop down at the bar for another martini. “I have no idea,” I reply. ” she asks. ” “I enjoy writing it,” I reply. ” WA I T E R J E D I 55 Inez laughs. ” Inez leans in close to me, her body suddenly resonating seriousness. “I’ve read your stuff,” she says. ” “Maybe you should think about writing as a career. ” “Maybe,” I reply quietly. Inez squeezes my arm. “Stop waiting tables! ” “Promise me you’ll try,” Inez says. ” “C’mon. ” The bartender sets drinks down in front of us. “Salud,” Inez says.
A few seconds later the door opens and a man and woman stumble out. The lady’s face is flushed, and her cocktail dress is rumpled. The boyfriend’s pupils are red pinpricks floating on top of the whites of his eyes. He’s high as a kite. The couple bow their heads, mutter embarrassed apologies, and take the walk of shame back to their table. Before I permit access to the ladies’ room I take a quick peek to make sure everything’s in order. Sometimes people forget to clean up after themselves. Noting with satisfaction that the bathroom sink’s still attached to the wall, I reopen the commode to the female dining public.